The Most Important Thing I Have Learnt Since Losing My Dad 1 Year Ago Today

Dad, Karlie and I

My Dad, My Sister Karlie, and I

Today marks the one year anniversary of my dad passing away. He was 61 and died of a heart attack. It wasn’t a surprise as he had had heart problems as long as I had been alive. Those who know me personally and knew my dad, know that he truly lived life exactly as he wanted to. He was selfish, hard headed, and we never had the strongest relationship, but he was still my dad. In the year that he has been gone…

I have uncovered within myself the innate wisdom, deep in my heart, that all people give the best they can in every moment of their life.

He was selfish more often than not, he was an addict, he wasn’t around as much as he should have been, but it was the best that he could give at those times in his life. It was the best he could do with his mental state. It was the best he could do with his emotional state. It was the best he could do with his physical state. It was the best that he knew how to give. I now appreciate that and am grateful for everything I received.

There were many times in my life that I was hurt by my fathers words and actions. I would always ask myself “How could he treat me like that?”. I have now changed my perspective. Instead I ask myself “What was he feeling that caused him to say/think/act like that?”. He was not intentionally trying to hurt me and I knew this. He truly lacked the awareness to even see that his words and actions could be hurtful. Instead of dwelling on the “woe is me” aspect I have tried to understand the feelings he felt. He was very good at acting like things were great and playing the confident big shot role but through the small glimpses I saw of his true Self  I imagine that he lived every day with heavy feelings of regret, fear (on many levels), inadequacy, pain, and grief. As I imagine the burden, the weight, of carrying those feelings inside for years and years my heart is flooded with a deeper understanding and forgiveness. 

I had a choice of holding onto the past, holding on to those negative heavy feelings that were projected onto me but I realized that I don’t have to live my life feeling those same feelings my dad felt. By having compassion for the deeper root cause of his words and actions and understanding that he gave the best he could at each and every moment in his life I am able to let those feelings go and find forgiveness. I am able to unlock a deeper love within myself so that I can share LOVE with others instead of the feelings of regret, fear, inadequacy, pain, and grief. 

Over and over I hear in my mind and feel with my entire being:

All you need is love. Love is all you need.


om shanti shanti shanti

xo domestikatie

Weekly Inspiration: April 22, 2014

Earth Day Inspiration, Domestikatie Yoga

Earth Day. How ridiculous is it that our society has come to the point where we only have one day in the entire year that is dedicated to giving thanks to our planet. The planet that provides us with everything required to survive. The planet that gives life to every amazing and beautiful being, creature, plant, tree. The planet that allows us to experience sunrises and sunsets. The planet that provides us with fresh clean water and allows us to swim in the ocean, and surf the waves. The planet that provides us with the experiences that allow us to feel true bliss. Continue reading

Weekly Inspiration: April 8, 2014

Dana Eriksen, Victoria BC Yoga Teacher

Dana Eriksen, Victoria BC Yoga Teacher

This week my inspiration came from my beautiful friend Dana Eriksen. She reminded me how important it is to be mindful about every aspect of your practice, specifically your asana practice. She encouraged me to be aware of exactly where I place my feet/hands/head/hips/shoulders/fingers/gaze for every pose. Not for the purpose of reaching perfect alignment but instead for the purpose of being knowledgable and purposeful with my actions. To be mindful in asana practice encourages that mindfulness in your day to day actions such as thinking, speaking, eating, exercising, etc. For example: Continue reading

Weekly Inspirations: April 1, 2014

Hanumanasana by Domestikatie at Mt Tolmie, Victoria BC

This week Sunrise Flow led towards the peak pose of hanumanasana or splits pose. Therefore I drew my inspiration from Lord Hanuman. Lord Hanuman is a symbol of perseverance and devotion, which is exactly what is required in order to do the splits! Looking at the above photo, I probably make doing the splits look easy BUT you have to remember that I was a competitive gymnast for the majority of my life and this did not come over night. It took many years and many tears of having my coaches force me deeper in the pose with no real awareness of alignment. So although I am flexible, alignment is a bitch for me and I am most likely going to have problems in the future due to over stretching as a child. Remember that this pose takes years and years of opening the hips from all angles. Continue reading

Weekly Inspirations: March 24, 2014

meditate victoria bc

Again, I drew my inspiration from the book Meditations from the Mat this week. This book just has so much to teach me. I think I will continually be inspired even when reading passages for the third or fourth time. This week I focused on over coming obstacles and paired this theme with a heart opening class. The following passage is Day 88 from the chapter on the niyamasContinue reading

Weekly Inspirations: March 18, 2014

Love is the Ultimate Renewable Resource- Eion Finn/Blissology Postcard

This weeks inspiration was based on ahimsa, the first of the yamas. Ahimsa is the sanskrit word that is translated as non-harming. The practice of ahimsa asks us to embrace nonviolence at a level of speech, thought, and action. Again I have drawn my inspiration from the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison. The following passage is from Day 20 of the book.

“After writing an essay about ahimsa, I went to my local whole-foods store. I am a daily customer, and many of my students shop there as well, so I usually spend a good deal of time chatting with people I know. With the notion of nonharming fresh in my mind, though, I found myself talking to people in the checkout line I did not know. The impulse to reach out came from the spiritual injunction at the heart of ahimsa: that we should not draw lines around ourselves, and that we should see all beings as out brothers and sisters. Continue reading

Weekly Inspirations: March 11, 2014

Each week of teaching my Sunrise Flow on Tuesday mornings, I plan to offer a weekly inspiration to my students. I want to share something that I find inspiring in hope of sparking inspiration in others. Each week I will also post the inspiration on my blog for my students to access if they find something attractive and also for those of you who are unable to make it to my class but may need a bit of inspiration for your week. For my first week I chose an excerpt from the book Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison.

Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison

Meditations from the Mat offers 365 days of inspiration. With 8 parts focusing on the 8-Limbed Path of Yoga. Continue reading